By Dianne Lively Yost

Columnist

Momma’s flat ready for football y’all! She’s changin’ into her ballgame outfit right now so I can see how flat fab it is! What the? Momma! Why in the Sam Hill are you wearin’ a football jersey that’s half Georgia Bulldog and half Clemson Tigers and why in the ding dang dong are you shakin’ one red shaker and one orange? Lord Have Mercy! Momma’s elevator ain’t goin’ to the top floor y’all! I’m talkin’ she not only cooked up a batch of crazy White Lightenin’, she drank the whole shebang! Call a doctor! The crazy doctor that is!

That’s right y’all! The Georgia Vs. Clemson Game (slated for August 30 at 5 p.m.) is fast approachin’ and Whidby Jewelers is gettin’ ready in a big way! That’s because Ben Whidby has done thought up a ding dang dandy of a promotion! Here goes! Between August 21 and August 29 your Whidby jewelry purchases just might be FREE . . . . if the opening kick off or the second half kick off is returned for a touchdown no matter what team! Don’t that beat all? Well Momma sure aint takin’ no chances so she’s gonna holler for both teams to carry that ball at the opening and second half kickoff! See Whidby Jewelers for details!

Hey and speakin’ of football, honey it just wouldn’t be Morgan County High School football without our fantastic Morgan County High School Band! So that’s why all y’all had best participate in the band’s Mattress Sale Fundraiser! Ding dang! Ok so it’s on Saturday, August 23 at the Morgan County High School Cafeteria from 10 a.m. til 5 p.m. and you’ll save 30% to 60% off! Wow! All profits go to our cool band! Love it!

Are y’all as excited as I am? YES! Malcolm Cunningham Automotive is now OPEN and is loaded with new cars! Malcolm completely remodeled the car dealership on Eatonton Highway that has was left vacant during the great recession! Anyhow, it’s now a completely beautiful Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram Dealership right smack here in Madison! So anyway, Malcolm is so excited to be a part of our community! “We looked long and hard to find a community we wanted to be a part of. We chose the City of Madison for several reasons: 1) It’s historic beauty. 2) The great people in the city. 3) The opportunity for growth for the city of Madison as well as for Malcolm Cunningham Automotive.” Yes! Welcome to Morgan County Malcolm Cunningham Automotive! Y’all head over there today to check it all out!

Well I flat thought Momma looked like a nut in her half Georgia/half Clemson outfit, but that was before I saw the preview pics for the upcoming Mag Drag Contest to benefit the Madison Artists Guild! Ok y’all . . . Some of Madison’s most handsome men are gonna stir up a heap of trouble this Friday night at The James Madison Conference Center beginnin’ at 7 p.m. Honey they are gonna dress up in drag and put on a sizzlin’ show to end all shows! Ok so these fellow drag queens (with names like D’Lowis Price, Eva Destruction and Tess Tickles) are gonna compete in three categories: evening gown, talent and lingerie! Y’all are flat not gonna believe who all is in this thing! Right so tickets are $35 ($15 for those under 18) and are available at the door! Y’all come on over to enjoy some one-of-a-kind entertainment! Lord help us!

Ok y’all! Downtown Madison’s First Friday event is sneakin’ up on us! Y’all make plans to hang out and shop local on the evening of Friday, Sept. 5! It’s so much fun and honey you can get a head start on all your holiday shoppin!

What?!! It’s time to start taste-testin’ chili for the annual Chili Cookoff! Now I don’t know ‘bout y’all but The Citizen’s Hot Off The Presses team is aimin’ to knock off that crazy Amici’s Team! Watch out Amici’s! Y’all call the City of Madison at 706-342-1251 and ask for Colleen Hall to sign up! It’s all gonna go down in Town Park on Saturday, Oct. 4! I can’t wait!

Hey and Colleen Hall is cookin’ up a Fall Concert Series to begin in September! Look for more details next week!

Ok that’s it for the buzz on biz this week! Y’all be sweet, shop LOCAL, advertise LOCAL, do business LOCAL ‘cause Morgan County’s small businesses need your business more than ever! That means head to our restaurants, our shops, our hair salons, our business services companies and banks to keep money here in your community!

Oh and one last thing before I go: Women In Business is meeting August 27 at Town 220 at noon! Y’all call Shey at the Madison-Morgan Chamber of Commerce to reserve your spot! Check out the ad in this week’s Citizen for more info!

I’ll see all y’all next week: Same Time. Same Award Winnin’ Newspaper!