Back when I was in the early stages of the public school system – you know, when life was super easy and great and you had no idea that there would be a point in your time on this earth that 30-minute naps weren’t mandated each and every day of the week – one of the best things I can remember where the times when we would have either scheduled or unscheduled parties. Right? Because the only thing better in kindergarten than playing with toys, learning about letters, and taking naps during your waking hours were those choice days that would bring about the ingestion of bags of cupcakes, cookies, and other assorted treats.
On the other hand, I’m sure our parents were less than happy on the days that the school system would give us raging sugar highs and send us toward our homes chattering like wind-up toys. And then there were the pizza parties. Don’t get me started on pizza parties. Long story short, kindergarten and the next few school years after that were wonderful in a way that probably won’t again be equaled on this side of retirement.
It’s tough to peak at six. But I’ve just found some evidence that not everyone’s treat days were as awesome as I remember mine being… At Upper Frederick Elementary School in New Hanover, Penn., the students of one part-time worker – who I’d guess is now a no-time worker – fed dog treats to children as substitutes for people-snacks. Wow. I can remember being fed some pretty bad stuff back in my public school days – the grilled chicken sandwich, for example – but I don’t think they ever fed us something meant for the canis genus.
Approximately 75 students got their paws on the goodies, and, according to one of the kids, the school worker only gave flimsy excuses for why the snacks looked at tasted unusual. “She made it look like it was a joke that it was dog treats and then she came around and said, ‘No they are cookies. They are fine,’” said Gabriel Moore, one of the students, to WFMZ, a local television station. Moore told WFMZ that he ate three of the cookies himself. Hmm. I wonder if the parents will notice a shinier coat over the next few days…