Nick Nunn

Nick Nunn

By Nick Nunn

What do you do if you find yourself near a moose, who happens to be swimming nearby while you are riding downriver in a boat?

One Canadian man decided back in July that the appropriate thing to do is to hop out of the boat and attempt to get on the moose’s back.

I see a new country song on the way: “Ride a moose, save a mountie.”

Two of the men involved in the great moose escapade of 2013 were fined a total of $2,500 because of their actions and slightly-more-normal difficulties that moose face on a regular basis.

According to Thunder Bay, Ontario’s The Chronical-Journal, Ontario’s moose populations are managed by the Ministry of Natural Resources carefully, and the moose are “under pressure” as prey animals.

Heck, most humans are under pressure all of the time – if you don’t believe me, just ask Queen or David Bowie – and our population seems to be doing fine.

The ministry also claims that the inability to escape a predator can cause a moose physical exhaustion, stress or even death.

Hmm, I wonder how much research it took the Ministry of Natural Resources before they realized that a predator can cause the death of its prey if the prey is not able to escape.

Back to the moose riders: they had their boat confiscated, and it will only be returned to them once they pay the fines that have been levied against them.

I’d like to know if there are any really bored Canadian moose-rider wannabes, who wouldn’t mind paying that much for the one-time shot at mounting a swimming moose.

It could be a whole new sport for the Great White North, right alongside logrolling and sled dog racing.

Can’t you imagine?

Moose water polo would be just perfect for the 2018 Winter Olympics!