By Nick Nunn
Regular readers of Nunnsense should know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I am still very much an adolescent boy at heart.
As an adolescent boy – particularly of the Southern variety – I’ve done a lot of unnecessary, idiotic things in my life.
I’ve jumped out of a boat going way too fast and skipped over the water. I’ve intentionally sunk myself into a muddy quagmire three-feet deep wearing just a T-shirt and jeans (I lost a shoe in the process). I have even dragged the top of a plastic sandpit turtle as a sled behind my 1991 Buick Park Avenue, making loop after loop pulling my cousins around my uncle’s pasture.
But here are a number of things that I have not yet attempted (despite the occasional desire): jumping off of high rocks into large waters, heating a pressure cooker until it explodes (safely, of course) and firing a flaming arrow from a bow.
Sounds like fun, right?
In Bellingham, Wash., however, David Wayne Jordan fired an arrow that was meant to be burned after being fired.
Jordan, 36, was arrested after shooting an arrow with a package wrapped around it containing a few ounces of marijuana and an unknown substance onto the top of the Whatcom County Jail.
Hmm. Yes, I can positively say that that is the absolute last place toward which I would direct such an arrow.
The cops think he was attempting to get the arrow into the second-story recreation area of the jail but missed his mark and hit the roof instead.
Jordan, genius that he obviously is, allegedly told the police that he was hunting squirrels.
On what planet would that be the best possible explanation?
And I don’t care what level of legality pot has achieved in Washington. You don’t see me at the Morgan County jail trying to chuck a gallon bottle of Mr. Boston vodka over the wall for any poor inmate that I may know!
My only thought is that Jordan planned on being in the jail sometime soon anyway, so he thought to send a little package to himself for the days and months to come.
Ah, the best laid plans of mice and morons…