Nick Nunn

Nick Nunn

By Nick Nunn

It’s been a year since my search for good Nunnsense began, and, believe you me, I’ve found Nunnsense, both far and near.

And the sad thing is, the closer Nunnsense gets to home, the farther I have to stay away from it.

Anyway, Nunnsense began, as many of you know, with that sad, Oregonian pig farmer who ultimately watched over what ate him.

Good fortune sent a befitting anniversary Nunnsense, signaling to me that what goes on in this column each week is nothing less than the good work of Providence (divine, not R.I.) itself, leading my fingers along the straight and narrow for you irreproachable folks out in Readerland.

(snicker)

When 27 wolf-dog hybrids were discovered in Patricia Ritz’ residence in Fordsville, Ky., nothing was found remaining of the mistress of the pack – except a skull and jawbone.

67-year-old Ritz had animal cruelty convictions going back to 1986 when 50 dogs were found on her property. The reason for the counts of cruelty aren’t clear, according to WFIE in Evansville, Ill., so we can’t know if the charges were due to overcrowding or direct physical abuse of the animals.

Physical abuse – direct or indirect – would made sense, given the circumstances.

After all, doesn’t the Bible say, “As you beat, so shall you be eaten?”

(Maybe I made that one up.)

In 1999, Ritz had 184 dogs on her property, 159 of which had to be euthanized.

Authorities suspect that Ritz died before the wolf-dogs began eating her, but I have a different theory, if you’ll bear with me for a moment.

I think that the remaining wolf-dogs, who managed to stay knowledgeable about their forefathers’ and the massacre of most of them, which occurred in 1999, waited until they got the perfect chance to enact their revenge.

As soon as the entire pack got strong enough, they cornered Ritz, held her in place, made her consider all of the suffering that she had caused to the living creatures that she kept for her own use, regardless of how they felt, for decades upon decades.

When they felt like due suffering had been dealt to Ritz, they ended it.

One gnaw at a time.