Nick Nunn, Nunnsense

Nick Nunn, Nunnsense

By Nick Nunn, Columnist

It is the perfect – and I mean perfect – time of year for this story. I mean, what other season allows for the possibility of flying deer other than Christmas. That’s right, none of them. But this wasn’t your typical red-nosed, highly-magical sort of deer.

This was a plain, old Virginian deer that left its feet temporarily for an airborne adventure, which ended in a woman’s face. Confused? Of course you are.

Here’s how it happened: a 70-year-old woman was driving an SUV down the highway – hmm… I wonder how this could go wrong – when she plowed into a deer that just happened to be standing in the road. Not uncommon, right? People around here hit deer all of the time. I don’t know how I have lived my entire life in this area and managed to evade them for so long. (Knock on wood.)

But coincidence struck in a terrible way for the aged driver, the ill-fated deer, and a 27-year-old woman, who was nearby and part of the way through a planned 7-mile run as the accident occurred. In a piece of bad fortune that could rival most stories from Greek mythology, the deer, having been transformed into a furry projectile by the blue-hair-piloted SUV, flew directly at the runner, knocking her out until the paramedics were able to arrive.

Krystine Rivera, the victim of this freak accident, told the Washington Post that she did not recall seeing the large mammal headed her way before she was driven from consciousness by the impact. Rivera, as well as the driver of the SUV, survived the ordeal and were released from the hospital the day after it went down.

The deer, however, was not so lucky. NBC Washington interviewed Andrew Disilvestre, who lives near the site of the accident, and he claimed that he saw some “big vultures flying around” the area afterward. Disilvestre also stated that, in the future, he would “look out for deer” the next time he goes out jogging. Either that guy is an idiot, or this isn’t the first time flying deer have killed in northern Virginia…