Whaattt? Ding dang y’all! It’s Louis Jordan and the Tympany Five marchin’ and a singin’ up my street! "Chili and Cornbread had a fight, Chili knocked Cornbread outta sight, Cornbread said “Now that’s all right, meet me on the corner tomorrow night!” I’ll be ready, I’ll be ready tomorrow night! I’ll be ready, I’ll be ready tomorrow night! I’ll be ready, I’ll be ready tomorrow night!” Wow! That’s right y’all! The Chili Cook-Off slated for Saturday, Oct. 6 at Town Park in Madison is also gonna host a Cornbread Contest! Yes! Momma’s gonna win and win BIG! OK so here’s the deal–Two categories: Traditional and Nontraditional (with meats and/or veggies)! Just bring your favorite made-from-scratch recipe to the cook-off and get ready to take home a prize! Winners for both categories get $25! Hey and y’all sign up for a Chili Cook-off team! It’s soooo much fun! The Hot Off The Presses Team wants to beat the cornbread off your chili!
News to Cure the Blues! Teal Couture is happenin’ y’all! OK so this is a new soon-to-open shop focusin’ on gorgeous moderately priced women’s fashions! It’s gonna be located in the same location that Petals Salon is located in at 203 W. Jefferson Street, in downtown Madison across from Town Park! Petals is movin’ to a space in the back and Teal Couture is gonna be in the front space! Perf! Momma loves fashion and so does Sassy Sista! Owned by Beth Cathey and Christy Friesen, Teal Couture is plannin’ on openin’ in October! Keep watchin’ this column for updates and like Teal Couture’s Facebook Page!

Paparazzi! Scandals! Fashion! Rehab! Parties! Gossip! You got it y’all! Movie Stars and Celebrities have it made in the shade! And, honey they are comin’ to Madison! That’s right! Celebrities from around the world and throughout space and time will congregate in Madison on Monday, Sept. 17 at the Madison ChopHouse Grille! I’m talkin’ it’s time for the United Way of Morgan County’s 2nd Annual Celebrity Server Dinner! Right so tickets are only $20 for a fantastic supper and all tips will be donated to United Way of Morgan County! But! Tickets must be purchased prior to the event! So y’all call Madisonian Joe Houston by email at jhouston.creativemark@gmail.com or call him at 706-342-2153!  There are only 100 tickets and honey some of them have ALREADY SOLD so buy your ticket immediately! Oh and did I mention that there’s a cash bar? Well honey there sure is gonna be one! Fun, Fun, Fun!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! The crew at Madison Markets, owned by Jane Royal (center), just celebrated the business’ 10th anniversary. photo by d. yost

Momma! Are you off your ding dang rocker? Shut off that internet! You can’t see the crown jewels no how ‘cause TMZ redacted ‘em just like the CIA redacts super-sensitive-life-or-death spy intel! Wow! Sensitive is right! I mean there sure is a gigantic (and I do mean gigantic) scandalous fuss goin’ on ‘bout Prince Harry’s bare-naked-royal-romp in Vegas! And, honey it’s too colossal to cover up! The big question is this: What in the Sam Hill is Strip Billiards anyhow and why is His Royal Highness so dang bad at it? Plus word on the street says the Queen Mum is gonna slap Prince Harry into France!  Well one thing is for sure y’all: Naked shenanigans that go on in Vegas do not always stay in Vegas! Prince Harry! You’re still the fun-fun-fun-est Royal EVER!

story and photos by michael prochaska

Most of us give little thought to the natural color of  a russet, wooden shelf or an aging windowpane slowly losing its snowy shade. But nothing irritates Madison resident Montana Smith more than an eroding or bland color of a once luminous piece of furniture.

Somebody shake me a martini ‘cause I’m flat stressed! I just found out Meier House Antiques is closin’! All the memories! The fun and fabulous Madison Artist Guild receptions! All the special sales! Dang it! But, there’s always a silver linin’ and it is this: Honey Paulette Long and Susan Kelly are gonna throw one heck of a clearance sale! (Cue Radio Commercial Voice) IT ALL MUST GO! AND THERE’S MORE! That’s right y’all! We’ll still have access to Paulette and Susan’s great antiques ‘cause they have some booths at The Madison Flea Market! Y’all keep watchin’ this column for more intel on this HUGE INDOOR-OUTDOOR CLEARANCE SALE!

Y’all need to get your dancin’ shoes on and get ready to party Friday, Aug. 31 in Rutledge at 7 p.m. ‘cause the Rutledge Merchants Association is hostin’ a dinner concert in the city park! I can’t wait!  Your favorite restaurants The Caboose and Yesterday’s Café are gonna provide some fantastic food too! Tables are available with menus so that you can order your faves from both establishments! Now that’s what I call a Dream Supper! Honey all you’ve gotta do is bring your table linens and table décor but you won’t need china or utensils! Hey and the entertainment is gonna rock you into next week! I’m  takin’ none other than Liz and AJ Nance, a folk singin’ due that’s comin’ to Rutledge from  way up yonder in North Carolina!  So mark your calendars y’all and be there in Rutledge on August 31!

Let’s Get Ready To Party Y’all! Momma’s havin’ a low country boil party out by the barn to celebrate her newest batch of White Lightnin’! It’s a masterpiece! A masterpiece I tell ya! Honey this is gonna be a throw-down! PawPaw’s out on the Gulf of Mexico right smack this minute fishin’ up the seafood! Ding Dang! Hold up y’all and let’s listen to the weather report! What the? PawPaw’s gonna have to get the Heck Outta Dodge! There’s a big storm brewin’! Talk ‘bout Deadliest Catch! Lord Have Mercy! Momma’s havin’ a spell! Somebody get the smellin’ salts! Shoot Fire! I reckon we’ll have to postpone Momma’s shindig til we can scare up some fresh seafood! I know . . . I know! It’s gonna be all right! Now don’t take it so hard y’all!

I’m talkin’ stop cryin’ cause Dixie Seafood is flat fixin’ to open up shop right smack here in downtown Madison next to the Morgan County Courthouse on Hancock Street in the old Madison Produce building! Madisonians Kevin Power and Lori Sheldon of Madison plan to sell fresh, fresh, fresh seafood from the Georgia and Gulf Coasts! Shrimp! Lobster! Grouper! Crab! Special Orders! You name it! Honey they’ve even got a fisherman from Eatonton who’s gonna get us some Georgia catfish! Plus they’re gonna sell a low country boil kit with all the fixins! And, Kevin says they’re gonna sell some unique seafood spices too! Can you say FRESH? Yes! I’m so flat excited especially since seafood is so good for you and is sooo delish! Anyhow, their preliminary plans are for the shop to be open Wednesdays through Saturdays and it will open for business in late September. Got a sneak peek at the logo and it’s really clever! Can’t wait! Keep watchin’ the Buzz for updates!