British accent? Check! Hot tea served in china cups and saucers with a splash of White Lightnin’? Double check! Snooty-stuck-up-queenish attitude? Check! Fancy-dance dress, feathery hat and black patent leather flats with matchin’ pocketbook? Check, Check, Check! Little English tea cakes? Ding dang, Momma! These ain’t tea cakes! This ain’t no Shoot ‘N’ Eat! You can’t serve skewered squirrel at our Royal William & Kate Weddin’ Party! Shoot fire! I flat give up! I’m talkin’ pack up the punch bowl! We’ll just celebrate over at 172 South Main Street in Madison at Amelia’s and Barkin’ Dog Shoes Co.’s Royal Weddin’ Reception on Friday, April 29 from 10 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.!  Amelia’s owner Kim Jensen Watts and Barkin’ Dog Shoes Co. owner Vickie Hunt are gonna put on a ding dang show y’all! They’re gettin’ all dressed up and are servin’ refreshments! Bring your own White Lightnin’ ‘cause honey those Brits don’t know nothin’ ‘bout no moonshine! But these girls do know something ‘bout parties, fashion, discounts, drawings and more! Plus you can watch the Royal Weddin’ of the Century while you shop and enjoy refreshments! I love, love, love to shop while partyin’! See you there! Kiss-kiss! Brilliant!
    Hey and honey we can all learn how to cook up Quick Fix Southern Homemade Hospitality in 30 Minutes or Less! Yes! Famous cookbook author Rebecca Lang is gonna be at Godfrey Cox at 127 South Main Street in this Saturday, April 30 signin’ her famous cookbook from 2 p.m. til 4 p.m. Y’all! She’s a contributin’ editor for Southern Living Magazine plus she’s on national TV all the ding dang time! I can’t wait to meet her in person and get her book!

Let’s open with my fave 80s tune from The Vapors! Hit it! I’m turning Japanese. I think I’m turning Japanese. I really think so. I’m turning Japanese. I think I’m turning Japanese. I really think so. So. So. So!” Yeah! That’s the best song EVER! And it’s the perf one to kick off the Biz Buzz ‘cause we’re all gonna be eatin’ Japanese cuisine with fancy chop sticks! Chop-chop!  That’s right y’all! Get your Japanese on! I’m talkin’ dinin’ on fabulishous Sushi and sippin’  Sake!  Momma’s flat gonna love this! You got it right! A new restaurant’s fixin’ to open up in Madison on Main Street in the old Maggie’s location at 133 South  Main! Ok! Here’s the deal!  Eenoco Japanese Steak & Sushi located on Lake Oconee is openin’ up a location in Madison! Right! So I got the intel flat before the ink was dry on the lease thanks to my super, secret anonymous source who shall remain nameless! Ding dang! Anyhow, Eenoco owner Heath Burton confirmed the news and says they’ll be opening’ up in June with “essentially the same menu.” I love it! For all y’all that don’t know, Eenoco is one of Lake Oconee’s most popular restaurants! It opened up four years ago and it’s been a hit ever since! Basically, this new hot spot will feature a fantastic sushi bar with fresh fish and other ingredients! And, don’t forget beer, wine and Sake! Y’all check out their website at www.eenoco.com! More on this story later!

Buzzzzzzzzz . . . . buzzzzzzz . . . . What in the Sam Hill is makin’ all that buzzin’ racket? I flat can’t think straight! OOOOOuch! That honeybee smack stung me on my  . . . nose! Ding dang! I sure ain’t never won no beauty contest but now I’m even worse off ‘cause my nose looks smack like one of Momma’s haphazard jumbo biscuits! Good Lord Have Mercy! Momma! Why in the Sam Hill are you wearin’ that beekeeper outfit? And why are you tellin’ me to cool it ‘cause I’m stressin’ out the honeybees? What do you mean . . .Oh. My. Ever. Livin’. GOSH! Take cover ‘cause here comes a swarm of buzzin’ bees and they’re flat mad as hornets! Shoot Fire! Now they’re headin’ up towards downtown Madison! Watch out!
    That’s right y’all!  MadisonFest – EquiFest is just around the corner on April 30! And, to promote the event, Madison Main Street is sponsorin’ “What’s the Buzz?” For some reason I really, really like the ring of that! Ok so here’s the deal: Participatin’ businesses in downtown Madison will put a bee somewhere in their storefront window or outside of their shop and you’ll be tasked with findin’ all the ding dang bees! Clues will be placed in the Citizen and in the City of Madison newsletter! Keep readin’ the Citizen, find the bees and you’ll win a gi-normous prize! More about that later!

I must be STUPID! I’m talkin’ the stove’s on but ain’t nobody cookin’! Why in the Sam Hill did I tell Momma I’d host her dad blasted Morgan County Storm Chasin’ Meetin’ at my house tonight! I mean really! Nerd-Alert! Nerd-Alert! Somebody shake me up a martini ‘cause honey it’s gonna . . . RINNNNG! RINNNNG! Hold on! What the? That was a Morgan County Red Alert call! But wait! Here comes Momma in . . . Oh. My. Ever. Livin’. Gosh! She’s done ruined PawPaw’s pickup! He’s gonna have a flyin’ fit when he sees that big ole ugly satellite dish in the back of the cab and those antenna flyin’ up every which way in Tarnation! Momma! A storm’s a comin’! Let’s take cover immediately! Whoa! She’s backin’ out like a bat outta hell fire! Plus she’s left me here with all these Storm Chasin’ Fools and they’ve getting’ into my Martini fixins’! Y’all get over here and HELP me immediately!

Whew! Now that was one heck of a crazy party and one ding dang storm! I hope to never, ever see another one of those! Boy Howdy!

Did somebody mention a party? Yes! Y’all get ready to check out The Party Barn located at 1290 Cochran Road in Madison this Saturday April 9 for their grand openin’! Now this is a bona fied working farm owned by Lynda and her son John Brady. They are hosting a grand opening event with hay rides, hotdogs, baby goats, pony rides, a Moonwalk, face painters and then some! Y’all all come out from 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. this Saturday April 9! Call 706-342-0947 for more intel!