By Dianne Lively Yost  

Oh what a beautiful mornin’! Rainbows and red birds! I’m the luck, luck, luckiest girl in the WORLD! I reckon I’d better fix up some hot coffee and some of those redneck, white trash, super-delish, mule-ground grits! Honey it just don’t get any better than . . . SLAP! Ding dang Momma! What in the Sam Hill was that for? You are flat titterin’ on the brink of Crazytown! It sure as fire ain’t my fault your 401K is in the tank, so cool it! I’m talkin’ the golden goose ain’t layin’ any eggs! Let’s pop right smack up the road and get us some of those Bulldog Bites at Antique Sweets located at 132 East Washington Street and owned by Morgan County’s own Patrick Alligood! Yabadabado! It worked! Momma’s happy as a pig in mud! I knew we wouldn’t need chocolate-covered Xanax for all that lost-my-money-manic-rage-inducin’ anxiety! Enough with this skedaddle scuttlebutt! It’s time to allocate some capital to shoppin’! I’m talkin’ I need me some asset inflation! Let’s go!
    Hey! Here’s the perf shop to get lost in! Antiques on the Square, located at 115 South Main Street in downtown Madison and owned by Theresa Bishop and Andy Bible, is flat exquisite in every since of the word! Y’all have never in your live-long days seen as large and beautiful a collection of antique platters and china anywhere! Oh and the antique furniture pieces and rugs are endless, classic and would make the perfect gift! From a nine-foot wardrobe to an antique record player to a set of golf clubs from the early 1900s, you’ll get lost in history and find some beautiful gift ideas for that person who has everything! Get over there today and check it all out! Hey and check out their very cool website at www.antiquesonthesquare.net!
    Up next it’s Madison Drug located at 213 North Main Street in Madison for one of those famous delish milk shakes and some shoppin’! Wow! Check out those fab handbags that look exactly like the real deal! I’m talkin’ Chanel and Coach! Hey and the home accessory items are perfect! Oh and don’t forget that Timex watch for the stockin’ stuffer! Yay!
    How do y’all like my brand spankin’ new, red MBT kicks? They are the bomb and I picked ‘em up at Barkin’ Dog Shoe Co., located at 125 West Washington Street in downtown Madison! Hold the phone! This Saturday, Dec. 20 y’all need to head over there ‘cause they’re havin’ an MBT Trunk Show with famous Olympian and MBT Executive Trainer Sharon Seagrave who’ll be on hand after lunchtime to talk ‘bout these great anti-shoes! Oh and MBT representative Fred Bright will be there all day too! I’ll see all y’all there! Oh and you should check out Sharon’s MBT YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDI7P_x5ed8! Can’t wait!
    Is new furniture on your Christmas list this year? Honey, get your bowhonkers over to Harris Home Furnishing located at 1590 Eatonton Road in Madison ASAP! Owner Christy Henry is flat excited ‘bout all the new lines and pieces she’s sellin’ like hotcakes! Honey, this furniture store has been a fixture in Madison since 1943 and Christy says it’ll still be around in 3003! I flat love it! Ok . . . the hot, hot, hot items this year are the bunches and bunches of luxurious recliners in all different styles and colors!  Hey and Christy says her rugs are 35 percent off! Oh and I flat love that beautiful leather sofa and chair! Hey and if you’re gettin’ one of those flat-screen TVs, you’d best get a really, really nice entertainment center and Harris Furniture has tons to choose from! Y’all head smack over there right this minute to check it all out!
    Correction Confection! I messed up AGAIN! Last week I popped in a mention of Melinda’s Alterations located at 171 West Washington Street, Ste. A! This new business recently opened! But, when I said she was movin’ to Rutledge, I meant she was goin’ to move to Rutledge to LIVE in a HOUSE! She’s NOT movin’ her business from Madison! Got it? Good! 
    Wow! We’ve done run outta space! I’ll see all y’all next week:  Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!