Bizz Buzz: Well butter my bowhonkers and call me a biscuit!
By Dianne Lively Yost
Two-thirds of U.S. corporations don’t pay no federal income taxes – at least they haven’t between 1998 and 2005 according to a new report from the Government Accountability Office (GAO)! All together these Easy Rider companies reported trillions of dollars in sales! I’m talkin’ lots of these companies made more than $250 million in sales with no – I say No taxes! Wow! Now that’s more than Momma and Memaw can say grace over! Ok so accordin’ to this GAO study these companies get a free ride ‘cause they report taxes on individual tax codes and they transfer funds between a family of companies to avoid taxes! Now that’s a fast trick! So fast it’ll snatch the taste right outta your mouth! One of ‘em lies and the other one swears to it! The IRS gets so dadgum confused it don’t whether it’s on foot or horseback! I’m a gonna create me a Biz Buzz S Corp and all y’all other S Corps out there can transfer profits to me! That way you can report a little loss and I’ll get rich, rich, rich and pay no taxes! Hot diggy ding dang dog in the sunshine!
What the? My computer’s shot! I’m talkin’ the hard drive’s a spinnin’ but the operatin’ system ain’t turned on! I guess I’ll have to set up office at Perk Avenue on West Jefferson Street in downtown Madison and access that free Wi-Fi!
Perf! Ok so anyway, the Buzz on the street is that Dog Ear Books, owned by Jon Tonge and his sister Amanda Stephens and located at 142 Academy Street at Madison Markets in downtown Madison, is gonna start a new book club that’s open to anyone! Jon says the purpose of the Dog Ear Books Book club is to provide a forum for the huddled masses of Morgan County yearnin’ for literary discussion! There’s no cost to the club! Jon says the best part is that it’s real low pressure . . . like a Sunday game of checkers on the front porch! Anyway, the first meetin’ is slated for Monday, September 8 at 7 p.m. at Dog Ear Books. Subsequent monthly meetings will be held on the first Monday of each month. For the first meetin’, they’re readin’ that famous Southern writer Flannery O’Connor’s The Violent Bear It Away! Hey and you can get the book right here at Dog Ear Books and get the 10 percent book club discount! Head over to Dog Ear Books today or give ‘em a call at 706-342-3460 for more info!
Wow! Now that our blood pressure’s all lowered with the book club, it’s time to kick it up! Yeah! Madison Fitness Center Exercise Queen and Cyclin’ Teacher Extraordinaire Emily Buck of Madison wanted me to tell y’all she’s starting a new early bird 6 a.m. class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Madison Fitness beginning Tuesday, August 19! Here’s the deal: Emily says one early bird class will be a high energy cardio interval class! I’m talkin’ weights, cardio and tonin’! The other day will be a 40-minute cyclin’ class with 5 minutes of abs! Both classes will run 45 minutes. Honey this sounds perf for those mommas or daddies who want to kick off the day with a power workout and be home in time to wake up the young’uns for school! Even high school kids have time to make the class, shower and head to school! Listen this class is free with a membership and honey if you ain’t got a membership, what in the Sam Hill are you waitin’ on? Get with it and get fit! It’s good for the body and good for the soul! Go by the Madison Fitness Center located at 1290 Eatonton Road in Madison or give ‘em a call at 706-342- 9200 for more info!
Get ready y’all ‘cause Madison Main Street Director Ann Huff says the Summer Concert Series continues thanks to a heap of corporate and individual sponsors! Yeah! The next Concert on the Green is slated for Thursday, August 21 from 7 p.m. until 9 p.m. in the park behind Madison Markets and Town 220! Now here’s what’s real excitin’! Jamie Hood of the famous Squirrel Heads has put together a special band just for us: Jamie Hood and the Madison All-Stars! I flat can’t wait! Hey and this wouldn’t be possible without the help of these fabulously generous Morgan County sponsors: Amelia’s; Buckhead Forestry, LLC; Carbon Neutral Holdings, LLC; Rutledge Inn and B&B; The Buck Family; The James Madison Inn-Conference Center; The Medicine Shoppe; and one individual sponsor who wishes to remain anonymous! Hey sponsors! Y’all rock like Elvis! I’ll see all y’all there! Sponsor alert! If y’all want to sponsor the September concert please call Ann at 706-342-1251 and tell her the Buzz sent ya!
Ok y’all I’ve got to get! I’m so busy I ain’t got time to cuss a cat! Y’all take momma shoppin’ in Morgan County and buy her somethin’ real nice! I’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia!