Ding dang! I flat can’t fit into my party britches! My bowhonkers have exploded along with my jelly belly! Somebody HELP! Shoot fire! I’ve even got fat feet! Who’s that? It can’t be! But I swear y’all! It’s Paul Simon! Just listen: “There must be 50 ways to leave your blubber. Just check out the track, Jack. Make a fitness plan, Stan. No need to eat soy, Roy. Just listen to me. Hop off the chair, Claire. Snack on fat free, Lee. Drop off the fat, Kat and eat raw veggies!” 

That’s it! But honey it sure does help to get your big fat blubber butt to the gym and there is no excuse to NOT go to the gym in Morgan County! That’s because we have two full service gyms and many places for yoga!

Right so that Dancin’-With-The-Stars star Kim Watts (who with her husband Rob Watts owns and operates The Madison Fitness Center) wanted me to let all y’all know that she’s startin’ up a brand spankin’ new Beginnin’ Zumba Class Mondays at 6:45 p.m. and Wednesday at 6 p.m.! Kim says we’re all gonna learn fab dance steps to three or four songs and build from there! Honey even Momma is plannin’ on doin’ the zappy Zumba! Speakin’ of . . . Momma! What in the Sam Hill have you got on? That work out outfit is like sooo Flash Dance 1983! You look like a ding dang fool! Anyhow y’all us beginners will soon know all the Zumba steps, shakes and slides! Oh and check out all of Madison Fitness Center’s classes at www.madisonfitnesscenter.com! One more thing! Kim wants me let all y’all know that you can get the Advocare 24 Day Challenge on sale through Jan. 15 at $25 off! Ding dang! Cleanse away!

Honey and Uptown Athletics, managed by Vicki Starr and located at 205 South Burnett St., in Madison (above the Madison ChopHouse Grille), has got some fun new workout classes underway! First off they are startin’ up a new Step It Up class beginning Jan. 12 at 9 a.m.! Oh and on Jan. 17 at 7 p.m. Lee S. Rippy, MD of Serendipity Spa MED & Weight Loss is gonna give a presentation at UpTown Athletics about weight loss, fitness and healthy eating habits. Call 770-686-1333 to reserve a spot! Honey I’m gonna have to attend this class since my healthy eatin’ habits went AWOL durin’ the Holidays!

Oh and for all y’all yoga fans, just know Jennifer Hendrix who is plannin’ on openin’ her Mind Crafting Institute and MC Yoga and Education Studio next to Town & Country on West Washington St., in Madison, wanted to me to let all y’all know that the openin’ date has been delayed and will likely be in February! The Biz Buzz will keep you updated!

Oh and this just in: Madison is flat gettin’ fancy! Honey Madisonian Dana Kibbey is flat relocatin’ her way-cool Retro Cinema from Washington, Ga., to Madison in the space that used to house Dr. Pagett’s dentist office on East Jefferson across from the Morgan County Courthouse! Love, love, love it! Y’all this is gonna be so much fun! Plus Dana says they are plannin’ to add a burger and fry stand in the location as well! Ding dang y’all! We can catch a show and a burger! Yes! Hey and the best part is that Dana is donating’ some 2,000 books to the Morgan County Library System that used to be housed at her Washington location! Thanks Dana!

Yikes! Time flies when you’re tryin’ to procrastinate workin’ out! Well I reckon the Buzz better get her blubber belly movin’ on down the road! I’ll see all y’all at the gym, at the track and all round our walkin’ trails! Love it! Have a beautiful week! Grab your handsome husband’s credit card and SHOP LOCAL! Honey the DEALS will have you doin’ flips! And, remember: You’re all invited back next week to this locality . . . to have a heapin’ helpin’ of Citizen hospitality. Biz Buzz that is. Take your shoes off. Set a while. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Printed in the January 10, 2013 edition