Hot dang! Why in tarnation are y’all wakin’ me up before the dad-blasted rooster? Ding dang! I flat forgot! Momma needs us to fix up a heapin’ helpin’ of handmade biscuits for her Mud Boggin’ Mommas Monthly Breakfast Club meetin’! Get the coffee started and I’ll pop open up this fresh bag of flour . . . Bangin’ Banjos! I can’t see Shasta from Shiloh! The flour exploded in my face! Talk ‘bout the Ghost of Biscuits Past! OK somebody get that big mixin’ bowl down and I’ll get the buttermilk and Crisco shortenin’. Set the ding-dang oven why don’t ya! Yikes! These biscuits are a mess! Momma’s gonna slap us into next week and back again! They don’t look right! They’re flat stickin’ to everything! Too much buttermilk! Well I reckon we can spoon ‘em onto the pan! Get ‘em in the oven. DING! OK! They’re done! Let me just open the oven and . . . Oh. My. Ever. Livin’. Soul! Hideous is too generous an adjective for these biscuits! Lord have mercy! I’ve lost the Southern touch! Call Nathalie Dupree immediately!

Say what? Well, butter my bow honkers and call me a biscuit! Nathalie Dupree is flat comin’ to Madison! And just in the nick of time too! Honey, it’s all because of Madisonian Lyn Hunt and Godfrey Cox Events! Now I don’t know ‘bout you, but I flat knew Lyn had somethin’ up her sleeve! OK so this Godfrey Cox Event will take place Wednesday, Sept. 28 at  Town 220 from 4 p.m. until 6 p.m.! Honey, we’ll be cookin’ like a Southern Belle tryin’ to snatch a husband! Right so this is gonna be the bonafied first Godfrey Cox Event, which means there are gonna be more on down the line! Anyhow famous Nathalie Dupree is gonna teach us all ‘bout her super Southern secrets to makin’ the perf biscuit! Plus we can all get a signed copy of her newest cookbook, "Southern Biscuits!" Y’all be smart and reserve your copy now by emailin’ gcgirls@godfrey-cox.com! Oh and I’ll see all y’all there!

And, speakin’ of Godfrey Cox . . . Well honey, guess who’s gonna take over the old Godfrey Cox Shop space on Main Street in downtown Madison? Give up? Well I reckon I’ll have to tell it! Antique Sweets! That’s right y’all! OK so I met up with Antique Sweets owner Patrick Alligood the other day and he said they were gonna complete the move sometime in early to mid-October! But that ain’t all y’all! Patrick’s got somethin’ sweet planned ‘cause he said the new space is larger so Antique Sweets can expand, but he wouldn’t say a word ‘bout what the plans are! OK so I popped in there today to try to pry out the intel  but I flat got foiled again! Ain’t nobody talkin’! Not to worry! I’ll get out all my spy equipment and will get the whole scoop! Just keep watchin’ this column for more intel!
Rev up your motor ‘cause Bruce Conner, owner of Conner’s NAPA Auto Parts located at 1131 Eatonton Road, wants all y’all to pop over there Thursday, Sept. 22 for a Customer Appreciation and Tool Show celebration! Hot diggity dog y’all! I’m talkin’ free hot dogs and hamburgers from 11 a.m. 'til 2 p.m.! OK so there’s gonna be door prizes, manufacturer representation and big, big savings! Ding dang! Honey since I drive that Land Rover that requires a new part or two every ding-dang month, I’m gonna be over there winnin’ me a door prize! See you there! 

Sprechen Sie auch Deutsch? That’s right! The Steffen Thomas Museum of Art is celebratin’ "Artoberfest – An Evening in a German Beer Garden" on Thursday, Sept. 29! Lord have mercy! OK so here’s the deal: German-inspired food and drink (Perf), Atlanta Sangerkreis- German Folk Singers (double perf), music and dancin’! Who could ask for anything more? Oh but honey they’re also gonna hit the jackpot with a raffle of a brilliant diamond necklace and earring ensemble worth $1,750 donated by Aurum Jewelry Arts of Greensboro! Spectacular! OK so they're also havin’ a silent auction! Dress is casual with a German Flair and tickets are $40 per person or $75 per couple! I’ll see y’all there!

That’s it for the buzz on biz this week! Y’all hang tight! Shop local, local, local! Advertise in your local newspaper and we’ll see all y’all next week: Same time. Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the Great State of Georgia.

Printed in the September 15, 2011 edition