Ding dang! I ran smack outta cash and had to come back to work for The Man!  Talk ‘bout a drag! But, don’t y’all worry none ‘cause Momma’s booked a quickie, trippy trip that’s sure to generate a hit YouTube video!
    We’re gonna get rich as a billionaire Bahamian banker!
    Yeah! We’re drivin’ to the Low Country for a big fat alligator hunt! I’m talkin’ bona fide alligator high heel shoes, matchin’ bag, chic belt, computer tote, and a fab gator vest!
    I can already see us sashayin’ all over town in our gator fashions! Plus everybody who’s anybody knows:  Honey, in the South, Gator is the “other white meat.” I mean it’s what’s for dinner! Why don’t y’all come along? Let’s ride Clyde!
    Somewhere off the coast of Charleston on a marshy island far, far away from Morgan County Georgia and the police.
     We made it and this boat is flat loaded! Harpoon Pole? Check! Net? Check! Hands- free headlight that fits on your dang head? Check! Bang stick to kill that sucker dead? Double check! Great ole big sharp huntin’ knife? Check! White Lightnin’? Triple check! All we need is a huge slug of this here liquid courage!
    Whewww doggy!  ROW y’all . . . I say ROW! And, stop your redneck yakking’ ‘cause we don’t want to scare away any alliga . . .SHOOT FIRE! Get the  HARPOOOOON! Get ‘em good Momma! Get ‘em! Shasta! Momma missed! But LOOK! Two baby gators! Catch ‘em with the net! GOTCHA! I reckon we’ll grow our own gator fashions in Morgan County!
    Talk ‘bout Locally Grown! Perf!
    We’ll just plop these two baby gators in Doc Bennett’s pond while he ain’t lookin’ and wait a few years or so til they get all big, fat ‘an sassy! The bomb is right!
    Now, I don’t know ‘bout you, but huntin’ always makes me FAMISHED!  It’s a good ding dang thing Kenny Pritchett’s new restaurant, The Chowder House located at 633 North Main in Madison, is fixin’ to open in mid-June!
    You heard me right y’all! I popped over there to see Kenny and to get the scoop and here it is! Ok so it’s located next to the old Dairy Queen building and it’s gonna be very casual with a real simple but delish menu, affordable prices and a fantastic cold bar servin’ up beer and wine!  Right so the big news is the menu! Everybody knows Kenny can sure steam some shrimp and honey he’s gonna be servin’ it up in style! I can’t wait! But, he’s also gonna serve up clams, calamari, salmon, a fish special, a great steak and a pasta special! Oh and did I tell y’all ‘bout the fabulishous fish sandwich?
    Dang it’s gonna be good! You’ll be able to get your seafood grilled, fried with handbattered, homemade batter, or blackened. Oh and there’s going to be indoor and outdoor dinin’! Kenny’s gonna give me more intel as he gets closer to openin’! Y’all keep watchin’ the Biz Buzz for more scoop on this great story!
    Hey! And, JK Linens, owned by Chris Pegram, is fixin’ to open up and I know ‘cause I had to poke my head in over there to see what all they were up to! Y’all!
    This shop, located at 183 West Jefferson St. in Madison across from Town Park, is gonna be super fabulous! Honey, they’re gonna sell 1,200 count bed linens at bargain prices and they have towels, bath accessories, comforters and then some! Plus JK Linens will have all sorts of items for kids!
    The grand slam openin’ is slated for Saturday, June 11! Celebrate!
    Y’all check it out!
    Ok! I have flat got to split this scene!
    But before I go, y’all don’t forget the Micro Cars show in downtown Madison on the square Friday, May 27 from noon til 8 p.m. and Saturday, May 28 from 6 p.m. til 10 p.m.! It’s gonna be oh so cool!
    Hey and if you’ve never been to the Memorial Day Celebration and the Annual Ride for America in Madison honey you don’t know what you’re missin’!
    Plan to be at Town Park at 10:30 a.m. on Monday, May 30! Momma’s ridin’ on a Harley this year in her red, white and blue!
    Expect hundreds of motorcycles y’all! See you there! That’s it for this week! Can’t wait to see all y’all again next week: Same time. Same place.
    Same Number One Weekly Newspaper in the great State of Georgia and BEYOND!

Printed in the May 26, 2011 edition